Lessons in friendship.

Two of my best friends are sitting across from me at Dunkin' Donuts, laughing about nonsense and head bobbing to OneRepublic. All three of us have exams this week, but instead of studying we're sipping overly sweetened tea and googling what houses we'll be able to afford as teachers. Life is sweet as a maple glazed donut today, and I'm thankful for that. However, if I'm being perfectly honest, every day of my freshman year has not been the sweet tea and donuts kind. Some days have been much more like coffee grounds and burnt bagels, even with the best of friends by my side, but that's okay. My college friends met me on a burnt bagel and bad coffee kind of day anyway.

I came to college fully convinced by my boyfriend at the time that nobody new was going to befriend me. Throughout our relationship he worked tirelessly to prove my personality too big, my opinions too strong, and myself just too damn much for anyone aside from him to handle. Long story short, he wore me down to build himself up, and we broke up after our first day of college classes. Due to various situations surrounding the breakup, I lost several high school friends and began suffering from intense anxiety. In the midst of all of this, I met the girls who have become my precious friends.

My friends are made of sugar, rubies, and fire. During a season of life when I had little to offer outside of angry tears and anxiety-induced tantrums, these girls stepped into my brokenness and offered grace. Hanneh, Kaitlyn, Maddy, Molly & Veronica didn't owe me anything. They could have taken a single look at my mess and walked away. Instead, they stayed. All of my friends are kind-hearted, beautiful and strong women. The girls chose to love me when I felt unlovable, and because of that, we are still choosing to love each other every single day. Perhaps that sounds a bit cliche, but it is nonetheless true.

Over the course of this school year (especially this last month under the stress of exams) we have laughed until we began to cry, and cried until we finally just had to laugh. From time to time we have undermined the power of each other's feelings and overestimated our bank accounts, but we have done so together and that has made all the difference. When one of us has a doughnut and the other has a burnt bagel, we split both in half, trade and call it a day. These girls are the hands and feet of Jesus to me and to everyone they meet because they refuse to let their hearts be jaded by bitterness.

Keeping Jesus at the center of our friendships and leaving judgment outside of our circle has proved vital to our success as a community of Christian friends. Sure, we fail to be completely open and honest with each other at times (probably more often than we would like to admit) but my friends are resilient and forgiving. When empathy is not possible, we sympathize. We have learned the significance of love languages and characteristics of different personality types, allowing us to think "what would so-and-so appreciate?" rather than "what would I want if I was in situation x, y or z". And last but most definitely not least, I have learned to be flexible and genuine. To be flexible with plans and expectations, and to be genuine in my intentions and conversations. I could go on writing for days about the many ways these girls have challenged my perspectives on friendship, but for today I'll stop here with a short list of things I've learned. Love God, love people, and love people like God loves you. Show up for each other and live life together as much as possible. Share your sweet tea and doughnut with your friend who has coffee grounds and a burnt bagel. That's a good lesson on how to be a friend.