Big Uncomfy Couch

Sometimes I swear cardboard and packing peanuts comprise our living room sofa. This six-foot long green bean of a couch will numb both your cheeks in a matter of minutes, yet here I sit. As a matter of fact, I spend a lot of time on our big uncomfy couch, we all do. From surprise parties and light-hearted movie nights to conversations so heavy tears must fall to relinquish some of the weight, this couch has witnessed it all. And in a few short months, we will strip the blue accent wall behind the sofa bare and leave our couch all alone in this living room, as naked as we found it five months ago.

I am sentimental by nurture; I get it from my mom and her father. A single picture can transport me through time and old journal entries can be more real to me than this very moment, so the prospect of leaving this apartment and all it encompasses behind at the end of this semester wilts the petals on my wildflower heart. Dwelling separately from Kaitlyn, Molly and Scarlett seems unfathomable from my place on our current college couch, still, it's an inevitable change and I don't want that fact to leave me expectant with fear.

Halfway through this post I ran into a wall of writer's blocks and began to pray that the Lord would give me direction for the rest of this post. I recently decided to reread the Psalms and Psalm 6 was next on my list. Psalm 6 verse 6 of the ESV reads in part "I drench my couch with my weeping." What a God wink. The Psalm continues in the MSG "Get out of here, you Devil's crew: at last God has heard my sobs. My requests have all been granted, my prayers are answered." I am amazed by my God who can gather in His hands King David's cries for relief from his persecutors, lay them out in front of little ole me and proclaim today fear of change and the future are your enemies, but at this moment I have heard your concerns. Know that while you may leave some sentiments behind in this place, I who have always been there will continue to go forward with you.

The hope of fulfillment in Christ calls me to let go of what I know, but often times life changes overwhelm me. I, in the flesh, would rather cling to a couch I know is uncomfortable for fear that letting go would mean no couch at all; and still if no couch at all is the Father's will, I can rest assured that His hands will hold me and His love will endure. In the face of all things new He is the creator who hears my pleas. If the desire of my heart is to retain the memories I have made and the community we have built on our big green bean, I believe the Lord will honor that - even without the presence of the couch on which we have wept.

Like the Psalms, not everything can be tied up with a pretty bow. Fears and pains may linger, but the hope of glory is enough to see us through. So while I still have this Styrofoam sofa and these beautiful roommates I will make memories to surpass our move and seek my comfort from the Lord who is in all things. In the face of whatever changes you expect, I hope you are able to do the same.